Do you really want to know what I'm going through right now? Do ya really?
First I find out my parents are possibly divorcing. Then I get the news that my dad is supposedly cheating. And then I found out they are constantly trying to kill each other. And how persay does this land a token on me? It's grinding me into a human derf ball. And throwing me out to the rockiest mountain so I can have my body and face bruised and splintered all over and over again. How many times til I can crash and say it's done, I can be torn apart no more? And when will I ever admit that I need to seek help too, that I could possibly be suffering from an emotional setback...I need to be a policeman for everyone...so that everyone can tear me in two, and fight back when I am not the cause of fighting in the first place.
Yes and to top this off, I am on academic probation for failing one stupid course, GO FIGURE. I mean tell me how a bio student who has never been near understanding how a computer runs is going to write programs for a computer?
Someone also claimed on his site that I slept with him. WTF IS THAT ABOUT? Shit I didn't sleep with anyone. DOES HE UNDERSTAND THIS? no. WHY? bc he is last I hear a freakin stupid moron who does not understand anything when it doesn't help him out.
Plus, I am latching onto to guys who I normally wouldn't like BUT NOT FOR THE HEAD TRAUMA. Jesus Fuckin Christ, why couldn't I just accept the fact that I was in denial instead of going so far out to reach someone I don't care about? I needed something to fill the empty hole in my head that was throbbing with MERE IRONY/TORTURE/INSANITY.
"I'm burning inside
Can you hear me cry?
I never felt like this before
It feels like I'm going to die
I need someone to be there for me
Like the sun is there after the rain
To dry the tears
To ease the pain
To tell me I am not suffering in vain"
I can't keep hiding these things inside, because they are going to overflow.
My mom once told me, that I cry so much that if she let me going, I would fill all the lakes and streams in the world.
Maybe she was right.
