I am really loving this song so I may to post it for you. It's "Affirmation" by Savage Garden. I have been listening to a lot of music lately. I guess that means I'm really happy because music is where my heart is. Whether I'm happy or sad, I listen to it, but listening to it usually means I'm in a good mood. Kelly Clarkson's song is a realy hit with me too. If you guys like "For a Moment Like This" I suggest you check out "Before Your Love". Its an equally amazing experience. Kelly's voice is just about the most gorgeous sound I've heard in a while. I'm glad that she's pretty but not another Britney. Britney can dance, don't get me wrong, but her the way she hits her notes is so off key. They synthesize her vocals til she doesn't even have a voice, it all sounds like beeps and what not. Yesterday was the frat party. I've never planned a party before, so I went nuts. We had to pick up a disco ball and all this stuff and I was BUGGING out, because we had like 30 minutes to start it and the train still hadn't come. Man my heart was racing so much. I cannot stand rejection or failure. So Ralph was standing with me waiting for the train and he's all calm as a rock and I'm like why THE F*CK IS THIS TRAIN NOT COMING. I'm surprised he didn't say "Calm down estrogen rocket." That line always cracks me up. So anyways, with Bluejay and all this packing up and party planning and stuff, I completely lost track of time and got home at 12 oclock am. I was afraid to take the train home late at night so Ralph took it with me. I think my parents are mad. They don't understand anything. I have obligations to do certain things, and if I want to join a frat and do community service I will. They were talking about where I go to do this ( since they don't like me going into other neighborhoods than my school, and my own neighborhood).
"We may go outside [to other neighborhoods] some time. So?"
"They might not be safe. You don't know if they're going to be safe. Something might happen to you, and people may not care"
"......"
Omy f*ing God. Something did happen to me, and YOU didn't care. Things can happen to you in your own home, and you know what? They already did. So stop being a fucking prick and trying to control my life because it's not running to suite your needs. I am not your puppet. Mind control doesn't work. You can't coerce me into believing your ideas, I am not stupid. In fact, I don't understand how you could ever believe I was. I think my dad's insanity and paranoia started with my aunt eloping. Yea, I'm pretty sure it did. But he compares me to her, and I am definitely not like her. I hate being judged on other people's actions. I don't care about what people say about having to override them. She never had this potential, she never went to school or even wanted to, when she had the chance. I did. I work very hard to get what I get, and I will always contiue trying because this is what I want. I do not want to elope with some second rate retarded bitch of a man who is going to beat my kids and treat them like less than kids. When did you ever get that impression dad?
They're talking about me again. "Berlina doesn't want to get married." How do people make so many judgements on you without even knowing you first.
