I need a sign
I feel everything move around me but I can feel my heart stand still. It disowns me. It doesn't like to be me. What can I do but cry to it? On a lone shady night, the moon dresses the water shone beneath it's kingdom like a fortress wanting to be known...I was once that fortress. Under the harsh sting of the wind, I can imagine my veins freezing as they quench every last bit of blood they'll ever know...is it too much? Can I sink and not come back?
Walking through the streets crying, the bitter tears dance in my eyes with that conscious subtle drain I had so once frankly known, I stare out at the complete strangers who walk by, momentously commenting, wondering who sank into a horrible coma to leave this girl bewildered. The streets are wide and dark, broken, yet so comfortable. The pavement feels like my only friend as it accepts the steps I walk on as an alliance without having to consider who I am. It doesn't have to call out a name to recognize me as creature...I walk on. This heaviness in my heart is set off by the turrential feeling that it is the end and there will never again be another beginning for me. I am exasperated, the breathe taken out of my lungs and losing all signs of vitality. Am I dead? Alive?
Living?
And to think it through, all I really do need is a sign. A gentle tap of the shoulder that tells me I'm breathing like I should be.
I pick up the phone, and no one answers on the other end...
I guess it's just me and the somber streets of night again...
