I have borderline personality disorder...I knew I would come down with something these days. With all the stifling and repressive thoughts I keep having, I'm surprised I am still sane. I know some wish to rebuff that statement, but let 'em go through what I went through in life and then we'll see who's talking with a cork up their ass. It's too much, I know it's too much. I am not not putting up with anyone's shit. You know what I mean. I don't care if it's your grandmother's shit, your uncle's shit, or your sister's shit. I have had about enough of it in life. People who make me go through that are dorks. People who associate with people who make me feel bad are shitheads. I know my other friends care greatly, and put up with so much when it comes to me, but when someone begins to degrade me....they don't deal with that. I am glad. I feel somewhat supported, and I like that feeling. And of course there are those who don't...and all I can say is, when you lose me, I hope those people come to you and comfort you in life...because I know people who have lost me before, and I know for a fact that it hurts...if it doesn't, good for you. But I've had one too many of you coming back to me, "Oh I always cared for you". Bullshit, If you care for someone, you show it. I'm not letting people hurt me...vicious, continuous cycle that never ends...and it winds up being the cycle of my life, and it shouldn't happen. Sometimes you can control it sometimes you can't. You have to let people who can be good to you into your life...bc all in all, the ppl who are most good to you will end up staying, and the ones who only tried will end up messing up and move on...bc you weren't worth it to them in the first place and they knew it. That is why even when they wish to make you happy, they let others get in the way. You have to see people's priorities, and if you are not near the top of their list, let them go. It's only natural for you to want people to make you feel the best way you can, and for them vice versa...
