I think I am going to break down. I cried all night...I shouldn't have done that, I know. But I couldn't help it. Things feel like their toppling over me and I am trying to move away before they hit me but they still do...I feel my heart sinking...it's sinking to the bottom of my feet and floating there...and I'm trying to pick it up and it's raining hard so every time I pick it up it just washes away into the rain...and finds the soles of my feet again. I want it to be up here. I want it to be with me. I keep trying to apologize to it. I say to myself "I'm sorry no one was there for you. I'm sorry no one would rescue you from the storm. You have always had to find your own way and you're going to...you were always such a brave girl, such a little girl, but so brave" My tears are so salty...I think I taste more tears than water nowadays...now isn't that a tragic thought...dying in your own sweet tears...maybe water never thought I was good enough for it. Even water has run away...
