I'm feeling lonely...and gloomy. I think my lip is bleeding but I don't care to check. I'm like dying inside...every little part of me is withering away. I don't want to talk to certain people,so I won't. REASON? They're ass sucking losers. People make me depressed, in the degree that they are capable of being insensitive and self-centered. I think Maddie said something along the lines of their lives being "I CAN'T FIND MY EYELINER, WOE IS ME" type of lives. That was hilarious, got me cracking up. You go girl :). I love Maddie, and I love Tracy. And I love Kari. I love every single person who wishes well for me. I never knew I had so many friends, or had people care about me so much. Maybe that is because they are all getting together and forming like this support group, which scares me, because they did this all on their own and I didn't say help me. I never knew anyone would miss me if I was gone. So last night Maddie and I are talking, and I think we agree on one thing, that people who tell you everyone has problems don't really have problems. They say "Oh yea I'm weird too, and I've failed a test, so I kinda understand what it means when your mom has a drug addiction". You know...people who think they understand you are bad enough, but people who compare their lives to you...that's just shitty.No one should have to go through that, because not only do they have pain that is not mending, but those people are adding to that pain as they are speaking out of their ass. Man, I hate people sometimes. As the human race, we are capable of doing the most evil. I think people who have to deal with real problems (i.e. abuse, death of a loved one, drug problems in the family..) should seriously have someone to be there for them...because it's just not fair to them... I really dunno what I'm going to do...
I fished through my stuff yesterday. To see what my life was like before...I realized I've grown and matured so much over the years...It was strange, like a bittersweet experience. As I was looking through the stuff, I was kinda looking at it in a third person perspective...and my mind just read all the poetry and said "shit this isn't good" I thought the life was so sad..and torn...couldn't figure out why. Man, I hate when I can pull third person shit like that. I always did like getting into people's minds...now what? First it's insomnia, then schizophrenia? Am I going to lose it and become mad?
