So much to say.
So much to do.
Let me start of with a reminder- do organic hw chapters 22, 13, 26 and 29 (what is possible), and study for make up test for Psychology on Chapters 16 and 17. Finals coming up, first final- Anthropology. May 9th. Study ass off.
Now that that is done, let me start off by saying, I am overwhelmed. I feel like there is too much to do in too little time, and so many distractions. There is always that one thing that is going to bring you back two hours. Well for me, this has been true. From my mother's bitching to my brother's paper playing sharades, I have been down to the whole day wasted away on nothing. I hate doing that. I have to have progress. And not even relaxing either, it's been wasted away on little things. Irritates the hell out of me. Although I could partially say it's my fault, I have tried countless times to get my mom to straighten up, to get her to fully grasp the concept that her first born son is not a saint. She does not believe me..."no "she says. In her mind, Real is a complete angel. He has been cutting school, and is haphazardly throwing away his potential on video games and completely useless things such as Yugio cards. God help the boy. He is so depressing. Seeing someone with talent thrown down the curb is a distressing sight. And all I could wish to do is help him...unfortunately that cannot be done. I have to let him make his own mistakes. Fall and then tumble. Crawl back up and rise from the grave. This is what has to be done to ensure his success is entirely his own, and not an effort of me and mom evading our own lives to make sure the name carrier of the family justifies his heirloom with pride and dignity. I am withdrawn...and feel very withheld about the whole situation. I have been putting my effort in. After a strenous day of classes non stop and no lunch, I came home and wolfed down a partial meal practically starving and fatigued from the lack of sleep...I went to his Parent- teacher night. Even with the headache caused by such a hecticly strum day...I managed to climb up several flights of stairs with my period and a frantic women who has not been out in society in months...thus explaining her frighteningly chaotic behavior. She raced past me as she was trying to find a class, franticly pushing and shoving like a kindgartner let lose by a substitute teacher...I had no idea what to do...I had to calm her down. She was pacing and cursing feverishly...I had never seen that side of my mom before. Figures it would be over her beloved son. She has always held a special bond with him...because this was salvation...she drempt of life's riches as she had him in the womb...with me she just drempt of her sister and soup...I never felt I had to completely give up on my brother, just to have him learn on his own. He would adapt, I was certain. Life is all about struggle, and those who know how to fend for themselves survive on their own.
