Have you ever met a person who you thought was incredibly just shallow and hard headed?
Well I thought I met a person like this. The impression that I got from him was that he thought he could charm his way into my mind. It left an indelible impression, arrogance in a subtle form. While I was thinking the other day, I seemed to manage to admit myself that perhaps some form of me was charmed, yet I was also certainly disgusted. Perhaps arrogance in charming in it's own right sometimes, if it is used as a facade.
Well, I had this dream last night, of the same person. He carried himself in a completely different manner.
Somehow we lived in a world submerged half into the sea, with underwater trains and buildings and houses. The water was held above us with glass, and drainage was an issue. I visited this acquaintance by chance while I was seeing someone else. He was there, and without that normal would be glow of certainty in his eyes, he had a type of serene solitude, almost merciful and sincere. His eyes seemed to dance with the lights in the room, inviting a smile from many who claimed sight upon them. I hadn't ever noticed it before, something so geniune and light hearted. I was in surprisingly shocked, yet merely showed it on the outside. While my mouth wanted to gape open and stare in wonder, I just looked down and looked away.
He was a pioneer of the seas, a somewhat half merman, half lifeguard. One of the subway stations, 14 Street, had it's glass broken and the civilians on it had been washed over with the water, as it came in tons and tons. Miraculously, everyone knew the evacuation procedures. I'm guessing there was also a lot of seaguards on shift, as there were many boats about and no one came back injured. It's my dream, just fantasy.
I had been assigned for one of my Bio classes to take pictures of deep sea creatures who had utters. Not uders, utters. These segmented type limb/fins that catagorized them into a new class of animal. So I attempted to find some, and he came and took pictures with me. As soon as he had gone, the tumultuous waves hit from the broken infrastructure at the station, and he somehow managed to save me from falling into this huge crack. He let me hold onto himself, as I sat behind him, arms around his waist, while he geared the boat and led me to safety.
I searched for him that night and ate dinner with him, more intrigued and delighted than I had ever been with one person. I wondered if I had somehow been vain to have judged him before, and he touched my arm lightly, seeing how hard I was on myself. It was his way of telling me it was okay, and that I shouldnt feel guilty at all. He kept his "arrogance" or reserve as a way of disguise. It fended off people who were too involved and superficial to notice the real him. It seemed he had been hurt before, and with some fumbling in his wallet he derived a picture of a girl. She didnt see him for what he was, and honestly, I thought she had to be a fool. In finding the person with the best exteriors that are desirable, she faintly met his wonderful internal qualities, and therefore missed the whole point of this amazing person.
Towards the end, I hugged him, and I clung onto him so dearly, it felt we were converging with our hopes and fears, intertwined in this lovely mess of controversy and past heartache and sincerity that only we could see in each other.
It was a brilliant dream, one with many epiphanies that I will hold onto.
Just remember, this one person who may crawl under your skin, they may not be as they seem. They might come from the same circumstance as you, and never be given a chance because you fail to overlook their outside idiosyncrancies for something more purely internal and graspingly beautiful.
